So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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