Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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