I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
