we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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