Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
