just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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