He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
