friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize