Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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