its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
