we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
