At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
