I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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