shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
