Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize