the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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