my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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