I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
