FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
