Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
