Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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