if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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