I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize