How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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