elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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