You just made me feel so damn special
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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