Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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