Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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