so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
