Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
