The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
