So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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