i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
vagina is talking i cant
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
