sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
