This is not my ceiling
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My brain says no but my pants say off.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
