STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
