I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Randomize
