all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
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