handjob tips. give me some.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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