I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
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