He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
