Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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