somebody snuck up and got me drunk
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
