I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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