Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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