Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
