now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
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That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
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I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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