So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
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