The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
