Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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