Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
