I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
