"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
