well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
